Syrian Christian weddings are traditionally arranged marriages where the elders play an important role. Both families, after asserting the physical, social and economical compatibility with each other decide to take the next step. The formal process starts with pennukanal when the prospective bridegroom and important members of his family visit the girl’s house on a mutually convenient day and time. The girl and boy are given a few minutes to get acquainted with each other on this occasion. If the girl and her family is satisfied with the proposal, they inform the boy’s family about their willingness to the alliance.
The boy’s family, if they are satisfied with all the aspects of the proposal, visits girl’s house along with important members of the family on a mutually or agreed date for vaakkukodukkal, to confirm their acceptance to the proposal and also fix a date for urappikkal the betrothal ceremony. The tentatively date and venue for the wedding is also fixed on this occasion.
The betrothal is conducted at the bride’s place in the presence of the parish priest, elders of both families and other invited guests. The rituals that are connected with betrothal can vary according to the practice of different Syrian Christian sects. The date and venue of the wedding is confirmed by exchanging letters of confirmation along with the vivaha kuri from the parish priests of their respective churches.(This is a confirmation that they are members of their respective churches) The promise thus given cannot be violated in normal circumstances.
The Syrian Christians follow certain practices with regard to giving dowry. This dowry is considered to be the girl’s share of her family property. While it used to be offered by wrapping currency with white cloth, it has been replaced by handing over the amount in the form of draft. The term dowry is seldom used nowadays because of the stigma attached to the term and it is not given or discussed openly.
The next step is the vilichuchollu or the publishing of banns at both the churches. As the marriage ceremony is held at the groom’s parish, a letter to the effect that the banns have been proclaimed and to confirm that there is objection to conduct the marriage.
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